dianarchy.net

Cross-posted!

Pictures are up at flickr; let me know if things are fucked up over there. I was adjusting things with it last night when I was super jet lagged and I think I’d been up for like 27 hours or something, but my math might be wrong. Time zones confuse me.

I’ll add descriptions and stuff. So far the only real organizing I’ve done with them is added geotags.

This week was awesome. It’s nice to know that Nate and I can handle being constantly together for like 10 days or whatever it ended up being. The 16th around 5:30 after work until 10 last night. But it is also nice sitting around naked in my own apartment without him.

This place is a pit. I should have cleaned it before I left, but I ran out of time.

That’s not exactly true, but that’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.

I gave my cat to the humane society before I left, because I am always at Nate’s these days and I’m a terrible cat mommy. Even when I am home I was mean to her because she’s super affectionate and I have no patience for her. Don’t worry, I am never getting another cat again, so this is not the place to put me on a guilt trip. I am pretty sure I’m never getting another pet again, because I’ll just fuck it up.

Anyway. Hawaii was incredible. I loved every minute of it, except when I was paralyzed by anxiety over one foolish thing or another. Seriously, I am such a nutjob. But Nate was super patient with me, which gives him 50k bonus points. 1up!

Seriously, though, I am a freak. If I wasn’t intimidated by the crowds, it was the huge waves, or the sand, or eating food I didn’t know, or mispronouncing something, or getting lost, or Nate’s driving (OMG CONVERTIBLES WHAT IF THE CAR FLIPPED OVER I”D BE DEAD), or snorkeling, or missing my flight, or what if someone looks at me OR OH MY GOD I AM IN HAWAII WHAT IF HE HATES ME AFTERWARDS?

Luckily, I brought my xanax, but I am pretty sure it did absolutely nothing for my anxiety. It had a nice psychosomatic effect, though. I also put VZ Navigator (gps) on my phone, so getting lost was pretty much never a real option. And the way the Sebring is designed, you cannot see the speedometer from the passenger seat. And eventually I learned how to talk myself out of being an idiot and did fun things like snorkeling. Coping mechanisms, people. Coping mechanisms.

And the parts of the trip I was really looking forward to, we got to do with Ian and Tracy and their kids, so that was awesome. His son (like … 3 1/2?) kept calling Nate “Mr Nate”, and his daughter was just this amazing bundle of giggles and shrieks. I really can’t wait to have kids some day, even after getting a glimpse of how much work they are. Even after realizing I am no where near responsible enough for an animal. I don’t know. I’m stupid for wanting kids, I’m sure, but that doesn’t make my ovaries stop wiggling.

Let’s hope that the metformin I’m taking is doing its job and I actually can have kids someday.

Speaking of metformin, I need to do some medication reconciliation. Right now I’m taking 2000 mg metformin (which seems like it’s finally enough to keep my insulin in check — though I haven’t gotten the results back from my lab visit just before my trip) and it makes me poop SO GOD DAMN MUCH. So I hate taking it, but I do, because I feel better (less the pooping). I’m also taking prevacid, which doesn’t seem to do anything, but it doesn’t seem to have any side effects, either, so I’ll keep taking it when I take everything else. I have a PRN prescription for xanax, which I really haven’t needed until last week, and like I said, I’m not convinced it did anything. I’ve also got a prescription for wellbutrin, which I originally got to quit smoking (and now I only smoke when I hang out with Kaity — which sadly isn’t that often anymore — but I can definitely say I’m not addicted to it. I’m not even sure I could say I like it.), but I kept taking it afterwards to see if it would help with depression and anxiety. Evidently it doesn’t do much for my anxiety (at least, I hope it hasn’t, or I’m in much worse shape than I thought), but I haven’t been too depressed lately. Nate really would like to see me off of the wellbutrin, though he hasn’t given me a clear reason why yet. Then I just got prescriptions for a steroid cream and an antibiotic for my rosacea. I didn’t start them before my vacation, because they make you more prone to sun exposure, and hello, I was going to Hawaii. I got a 2nd degree sunburn as it was, I’d probably be dead of sun allergy if I’d started it before I left. The other thing is, antibiotics + birth control … scary. But everything says that Nuvaring is less affected by antibiotic use than oral contraceptives, so we’re going to go with that.

I’m sure that was incredibly boring. Sorry. I just had to write it all out so I could see it.

God damn this sunburn hurts. I should get dressed so I can get some lidocaine to put on it.

Fuck, with my mouse not working I’ve had to tab to links and I can’t see when I’ve tabbed to the save entry button.