tales from the pooper
| March 8th, 2008 at 17:49 |We went to the new Lowe’s today. It was awesome. It even had an awesome bathroom, except that it did not have hooks on the doors for coats/purses, or paper towels in the paper towel holder. On the paper towel holder, but not in it. That’s just lazy. I might be the Queen of Lazy, but not at my place of work. You already went to all the trouble of getting the paper towels out of the supply closet and brought them to the rest room, why not take the ten seconds to put them in the paper towel holder?
I almost did it myself, but an old lady walked in and I didn’t want anyone to see me doing it.
So now you get to hear the truth. I am a shy pooper. I can’t poop if there’s someone nearby. I think it’s like how Kaity can’t poop while she’s up to camp. I am also a shy pee-er, but that’s a different show. Anyway, when I went to the bathroom at Lowe’s, there was no one in the bathroom. I took the first stall (I read somewhere that the first stall is the least-often used, so I always go for it; probably other people read it, too, and therefore totally negate my efforts). A moment after I sat down, a woman came in and sat in the second stall. Right next to me! In a bathroom with like ten stalls! Ugh. And then she tried to make conversation.
“Ugh! Don’t you hate when that happens? That’s disgusting!”
I think she wanted me to ask what was disgusting, but I was trying too hard to not say, “What, WHEN SOMEONE TAKES THE STALL RIGHT NEXT TO YOURS?”
Anyway, then I couldn’t poop or pee until after she left. Stupid lady.
Also, congratulations Tales From The Pooper, you are the first entry written at Nate’s.
2 Responses to “tales from the pooper”
By Tracy | Mar 8, 2008 at 21:42 | Reply
I am not a shy pooper or pee-er in the least. I am however, seriously weird about using public toilets. Ian makes fun of me all the time. And I always have to hover if I do have to use a public toilet, although that’s only if I know I won’t be able to wait until home. But the really annoying thing about hovering is that I tend to spray pee to the right if I’m nicely shaved. The other day I peed all down my leg. Not cool. I need a nice spiral of hair to keep the pee flow straight down but I don’t like being furry. How’s that for too much information?
By d | Mar 10, 2008 at 5:47 | Reply
With all the pooping issues in my family, I would not be able to survive if I could not use a public toilet. I have even perfected the pleading look necessary to get to use non-public toilets.
And that is the most awesome thing I’ve ever read. I don’t know how I will ever be able to top it.